Jan 28, 2019
Rebekah brings up a quote “Dear God please let me not raise the child that I was, or the child I wish I had, but let me raise the child that I have”…It had never crossed her mind that she might try to raise her kids as if they were just like her growing up. Ryan and Rebekah discuss the idea of not projecting personal context on our kids. Just because they are our offspring, it does not mean they will be just like us and experience the same things the same way we did. It is important to utilize personal context and experience, but to make sure to remember that our children are different people. For Rebekah, this means that she needs to pay more attention to each kid and analyze each situation in it’s own merit.
Ryan digs into some internet memes on parenting which brings up some personal reflection moments on how Ryan used to be an “arm-chair-parent” before having kids.
Ryan talks about a great piece of advice somebody gave him to keep sane while parenting: “Establish a consequence and follow through if the child disobeys”. In other words, warn them they are going to get a time out, and if the child disobeys, give them a time out…no drama….Sort of. Ryan and Rebekah talk about the reality of following through on this advice.
[11:20] Playing Inside vs. outside.
This is different for Ryan because he as at work all day and Rebekah is home all day with the kids. Rebekah was noticing that when Liam is inside, he does imaginative play, but it’s very short lived and jumps from project to project. She notices when they go outside, his attention span increases. Ryan notices that he can go “forever” outside. He finds creative things (leaves, sticks, bugs) to play with.
Ryan brings up an article from psychology today that talks about the brain development advantages of playing outside. [Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201404/whats-better-indoor-or-outdoor-play]
We live in a second story apartment, so it is harder to go outside. Especially because we are so tired all the time and we can’t let Liam go run outside by himself. If we had a backyard, it would be much easier. It’s city life, which is different than how we grew up as kids. Rebekah talks about what it was like growing up in her home.
Ryan points out that there is a thing called “Nature Deficit Disorder” (according to Psychology Today article).
Ryan and Rebekah share experiences of playing outside when they were kids. We also grew up before video games were a thing.
The challenge for Rebekah and Ryan is: What do you do when you are too tired??
[22:00] Parenting Pet Peeves
Being constantly tired is a major parenting pet peeve. We ask the audience to share their advice in the comments.
Ryan struggles with being patient. This is a personal pet peeve for him. He wants things to happen quickly and struggles to let Liam jump in and help —which takes longer.
Bekah does not like “mom-chit-chat”. It can feel like comparison between moms which is frustrating. Ryan loves “mom-chit-chat” conversations…
Conclusion: we are all wired differently. We need to be the best version of who we are, so our kids can be the best version of who they are!